Anemone coronaria de Caen
(before and after the petunias have taken over :-)
they flowered first in the second half of may, to my surprise they are showing some blossoms again. I am thrilled to see anemones for the first time, after having dreamt so much about them!
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, Greek ἀνεμώνη (anemōnē)
means 'daughter of the wind'. The Metamorphoses of Ovid tells
that the plant was created by the goddess Venus when she sprinkled
nectar on the blood of her dead lover Adonis.
Erschütterer -: Anemone,
die Erde ist kalt, ist nichts,
da murmelt deine Krone
ein Wort des Glaubens, des Lichts.
Der Erde ohne Güte,
der nur die Macht gerät,
ward deine leise Blüte
so schweigend hingesät.
Erschütterer -: Anemone,
du trägst den Glauben, das Licht,
den einst der Sommer als Krone
aus großen Blüten flicht.
(Anemone - Gottfried Benn)
Sublime mover -: Anemone,
the earth is cold, is nothing,
your crown
alone murmurs
a word of hope, of light.
Into a world without value
which
only power directs,
your gentle blooms
are sown in silence.
Sublime
mover -: Anemone,
you bear the hope, the light,
which one day, from
heavy blossom,
the summer will weave into a crown.
tr. by Martin Travers
(Martin Travers)
Dreaming of Anemone. (Alternative title)
ReplyDeleteThose Greeks sure knew how to spin entertaining and violent tales--always replete with blood, pathos, and people dying. They would do well in today's video game industry.
murderous tales on all blogs! :-)
Deletei love your alternative title!
i thought i could leave it alone, but it's been nagging me all day - how bad the translation of "Erschuetterer" is - it means - the one which moves you violently, shattering you, making you shake, overwhelmed... with a sense of awe, in this case - "sublime mover"? one can understand - the one moving sublimely, no?!
ReplyDeleteanother version i found: agitator :-))) it was so ridiculous i had to laugh!
of course i must admit it is a very tough one (Benn is very hard to translate)
danke für diese wunderbare kraftvolle gedicht. daughter of the wind, herrlich! :-) die bilder sind sehr sehr schön, doch ganz besonders das letzte... pure reine schönheit - und ja, dein blog macht mir grosse freude, trägt es doch ein helles grosses licht in sich!! und ich danke dir dafür! bis bald, einen stillen wunderbaren abend! renée
ReplyDeleteich denke, meine Antwort ist verlorengegangen, ich versuche es nochmal... ich erinnere mich noch daran, am Anfang, als Du gesagt hast, Du würdest die Bilder auf der Bridge lieb haben, der Inhalt sei Dir aber zu dunkel.
DeleteJetzt scheine ich endlich ein Blog geschafft zu haben, das lichtvoll ist :)
Wow, “Erschütterer” is really tough, or maybe even impossible. “Agitator” is ridiculous – it is either too political, or it is the part of a washing machine that makes the water move!! I don't like “sublime mover,” either. It sounds like a name for God in Medieval philosophy, and it moves in the wrong direction. It comes down from heaven, too calmly, while the flower comes up from the earth.
ReplyDeleteAt first, I thought maybe I might risk doing something weird to translate “Erschütterer,” like “Air-shudderer” or “Ur-startler” -- but maybe those are just too weird :-)
So, here is what I have, an attempt, quickly and awkwardly.
I don't love “Upheaver.” It is an ugly word ... but maybe the sense is better than “sublime mover.” The “Upheaver” breaks upward, out of the soil, shaking everything around it (an upheaval).
I don't like the passive “is sown” -- but Benn does that, so maybe it has to be that way.
I do like “corona” in the first stanza, then “crown” at the end. This is the way the summer transforms the flowers.
I like this big gathering of long, slow vowels at the end. I won't change that!!
But, really, it is all rough and only half-ok.
Anemone
Upheaver – anemone,
a cold nothing is the earth,
but your corona yet murmurs
a word of light, of faith.
In the earth bereft of kindness,
where power reigns alone,
your gentle blooms
will silently be sown.
Upheaver – anemone,
the faith and light is your own,
which summer weaves -- one day,
from broad blooms – into a crown.
ahhhh - so much ti think about here :-) i will come back to reply later...
Deletethank you for playing the game, i knew you would! :-) and it is a life and death game for translators (or poor people cursed with this passion, as me :-), even if no one else understands, ha...
ReplyDeletei like your version much better than Travis's... the first two stanzas are very good, even 'upheaver' is better, though it is ugly, as you say... the corona-crown play is also beautiful!
the only thing i don't like is, in the last line, the "broad blooms" - and not only because of the alliteration :-) the rhythm itself is somehow broken because of them. besides 'broad' is not pretty either...
i found a romanian translation and updated the post to include it. the translators gave up on Erschuetterer entirely haha, but maybe that is the only solution, it is indeed impossible to translate.